If I were a cheating sc*mbag I would definitely try to manipulate women into being in an open relationship with me.
Polyamory and Open Relationships makes it very easy to blur the boundaries and "ethically" take advantage of the other person in the relationship.
You can easily take your manipulative ways and repurpose it as "ethics".
Notice how Poly people look down on monogamy.
"Oh we don't see each other as property unlike monogamy"
"we are evolved in our communication and we took the path to overcome our programmed jealousy"
This language is convenient to use, especially if you want to enroll your primary partner and other people into this cult like way of thinking.
If it's the more empowered and ethical way and if you're supposed to just move past your jealousy... then every time you emotionally manipulate your partner it's a lesson to overcome rather than actual manipulation.
If the man is being manipulative (which isn't always the case... women manipulate through this dynamic too) ...
Often the man will say that it's just in his biological nature. So if he hooks her in, she has low standards and he convinces her that the world is filled with men who lie about their biological nature and all men cheat...
... so poly is the answer. Well then the lines have been crossed where the abuse has been normalized in the relationship to a point she has agreed to it, therefore it's never pointed out. To point it out would be criticizing that man's biological nature.
With all this being said... there's 2 things I want to say...
1. I am all for live and let live. Just because I chose monogamy I do not think everybody has to live like me.. and I don't think all polyamory relationships are toxic. Only a Sith speaks in absolutes.
2. However, I've seen more and more situations and entanglements popping up in my field lately where I can smell the toxicity from a mile away. Poly does often come with a struggle of power dynamics and emotional abuse but if we talk about it we're horrible for pointing it out.
I think these are one of the things in human history that we'll get a documentary about and people will be flabbergasted about how manipulative these dynamics are.
The positive aspect of monogamy is that the boundaries are very defined.
With open relationships the boundaries start to blur and it requires 2 skilled people to navigate it. But often it involves people who weren't skilled enough to navigate a monogamous relationship.
Instead of taking accountability for their dishonesty when they were in monogamy they just claim cheating was their core biological identity and use poly to cover up their demons.
So while it is honorable on the surface if somebody can navigate polyamory in a healthy way with evolve communication and maturity...
A lot of times people are just running away from their demons and using conscious language to gaslight themself and their partner(s). And that is rarely acknowledged...
But yeah, other than that it's wonderful.